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Monday, November 5, 2012

NaBloPoMo Day 5: Around the Bloggosphere

I can't tell you how excited I am about this "Month of Blogging".  I can't get over all the amazing posts that are hitting the Bloggosphere (both here and on individual blogs).  Everyday I look forward to the next batch of blog posts which always seem to get better and better as the month goes on (which surprises me because I've been blown away each and every day!).  Before I get into today's prompt, I just wanted to say a giant THANK YOU to all the people contributing and blogging out there.  It's not easy to put your voice out there, but at least one reader sure appreciates it!

Do you read blogs of other members of the "adoption triad"? If so, what do you learn from reading those blogs? When you disagree, what's your preferred method of dealing with it (such as leaving a comment, writing a blog post about it, or ignoring it)?

I’m an adoptee.  I read blogs of other adoptees.  I don’t always agree with them but that’s because no two adoptees feel the same or have the same experience.  I also read a lot of first parent blogs.  I’ve noticed that there are a lot of first mothers blogging out there, but not so many first fathers.  I sometimes read adoptive parents’ blogs as well.  For full disclosure, I often avoid potential adoptive parents’ blogs.  I find most of them too painful to read.

When I started out blogging, I only read other adoptees’ blogs.  These were the blogs I felt most comfortable reading.  They didn’t often challenge me and if they did, I didn’t continue reading for a while.  At the time, I was so new to everything and I was really in a fragile place.  Slowly I started to read other blogs that did challenge me.  I added to my reader blogs of other adoptees who I don’t always agree with.  Those thoughts challenged me in new ways.  My views didn’t always change, but I did look at things in a new light.  Sometimes, those opposite views actually helped to strengthen my own views.  I’m a firm believer in learning all sides of an issue for a more well-rounded view, and reading thoughts from a different perspective helped me to understand why I felt the way that I did, and why I didn’t feel the same way.

As time went on, I started to read first mother blogs (and one first father blog).  Some of my favorite bloggers are first mothers.  I have learned a lot from reading those blogs.  I know that like adoptees, not all first mothers (and fathers) feel the same about adoption.  They all had different experiences, and different circumstances.  They feel differently from one another and have different views.  Some have had good experiences in reunion, some have had bad experiences.  In many ways, that’s similar to adoptees.  I am often blown away at the similar emotions.  I once read a blog post from a natural mother that described my post-reunion visit emotions to a T.  We felt the same emotions, had the same fears, and used a lot of the same words to describe them.  I wasn’t expecting that.  I have learned from many of these great women, including insights on how my own first mother might feel about certain things.  It's helped our communication and our relationship.  I also find that I respect her more knowing a bit of the reasoning behind why she sometimes acts the way she does.  That's not to say she feels the exact same way as these women do, but I'm a lot more forgiving than I once was.