The truth is incontrovertible.
Panic may resent it,
ignorance may deride it,
malice may distort it,
but there it is.
The House of Commons (1916)
When people who know my mother-in-law see my non-adopted five-year-old daughter, they invariably say, “She’s a little version of her grandma!”
Truly, they do look alike–complexion, facial structure, smile, overall petite body type (as opposed to her mother who, nearing 6-feet in flats is a bit much for a woman IMO).
They both possess a tenacious stubbornness for what’s right; albeit my mother-in-law is much more polite in its execution.
That’s genetics for you.
People are neither surprised nor thrown off balance to see that D is “just like” her paternal biological grandmother. And why would they be?
Genetics are somehow perceived to have been erased in adoption ...
Question: Why is it such a stretch when an adopted-out granddaughter so closely physically resembles and identifies with her paternal biological grandfather?
<<<Energetically pumps arm in the air like the typical type A people-pleasing adoptee>>> Ohhh me! Pick me! I know!
Because the prevailing attitude toward adoption (during the Closed Adoption Era–it’s changing now, but slowly) was that if the agency did its job “correctly,” then they’d match the adoptee to similar-looking adoptive parents, thereby allowing everyone to pretend that much more easily.
Even better, perhaps then the adoptee won’t feel the need to search.
As we learn in her memoir, The Fifth and Final Name, Memoir of an American Churchill, therapist and adoptee Rhonda Noonan wasn’t taking the easy way, and she's definitely not the stereotypical grateful adoptee.
Furthermore, she wasn’t remaining quiet, and she was never content with the “not knowing.”