|Trace's story was recently featured on Al Jazeera|
"...If you love something let it go free…If it comes back it’s yours: If it doesn’t, it never was."
I saved this quote from my teens. It came in handy when I was trying to figure out if someone really loved me.
It hit me as relevant for parents who adopted us... you can be selfless for adoptees and you can set us free... especially when we are adults and go into reunion with our first parents.
This past week I had a long conversation with a friend whose wife gave up a baby for adoption 40 years ago. I played a small part in their finding the child she gave up at age 16.
Now they are reunited with Barb (not her real name.) My friends are trying to figure out what is happening to Barb now that she is in reunion with them and they are obviously looking for clues or signs that she's doing OK. They honestly don't know if they should reach out more... They aren't sure of anything because Barb is in the midwest and they live on the East Coast. They just can't pop in for a quick visit. (I told my friends that Barb is not in their "territory," which means they can't even guess what is going on with her adoptive family since she lives in "their" territory.)