I am not sure if I am content with the life that I have right now---I don't want to complain even if this post may come across as it. Disappointed---I feel disappointed in life, my life has not turned out the way I imagined it would when I was 14. I dreamed, hoped and believed so many things-- achomplishments and things that I wanted for myself. To be honest my life is long from what I hoped for.
Now I find myself struggling with others more than with myself, all I want is to get a purpose in life to feel like I matter. That I'm important and significant period. I won't lie being an adult adoptee these days aren't easy oftentimes immigrants and transracial adoptees get accused from society to be lazy and wanting to contribute to society by earning a living for themselves. Many are believed to take advantage of economic contrubtions and unemployment fees instead of working or wanting to work.
I have years of college studies behind me but the competition for work is hard--harder now compared to 15 or 20 years ago. Degrees and higher education doesn't seem to matter anymore instead it's important with social networks and who you know.
There can be hundred of applicants for the same work, I'm not lying now. That's plain and simple truth. Maybe it's connected to the economic recession that still has its grip on the industralized and developed world.
Is this what's supposed to be my future---a life in constant struggle; never anything else than a an applicant for social benefits from the state. This is not how I imagined life to be when I was 15---I am certainly glade that I didn't know anything about my future back then.
Honestly, my dreams and aspirations have so far been unreachable to me, and I find myself wondering if life always becomes what you want it to be or becomes what you want... Of course I realize that this may come of as a very negative post. That wasn't my intention.
Life is relative, I know that, there will also always be someone somewhere who is worse of than you are. We human beings all have a choice---life is full of choices and life itself is a choice (although I'm not talking about pro-choice or pro-life, that's something entirely different). To fully appreciate success one might have to experience hardship, challenges and failure.