Society including our adoptive parents often encourages us-(interracial) adoptees to realize, come to terms with and accept that we now are different from our birth families and parents. Of course, we do oftentimes grow up to resemble our new forced upon-family, because we had to be taken and removed from our birth country and culture.
How is it that adoptive parents generally refuses to acknowledge that they are the ones that are largely responsible for this in the first place. Or that they only are supposedly open towards meeting their adopted daughters birth mother and father-always mindful of what are at stakes- what they could lose. If the reunion starts to develop into something messy and dirty the adoptive parents tends to be the first ones to point fingers and to say I told you so.
Is it possible for adoptees to live in a world where the birth family and the adoptive parents equally respects each other ?
I fail to see and understand how it is possible for my birth parents to suddenly turn the other cheeck, blame and blackmail. Emotional blackmail and ultimatums has recently been added in my own reunion. I find myself trapped in this situation, wishing things could be different-wondering where things started to go wrong. Realizing also that neither the demands or requests ever will be met, because my birth family are actually trying to blackmail and place ultimatums-not on me but on my mum and dad. Which is why I need to come to terms with the fact that my adoptive parents never will met their demands-as far as they're concerned they have no emotional and deffinitely not any legal obligations towards my birth parents. My (adoptive) parents sees no reason to offer economic assistance to my birth parents or to help my birth family improve their living conditions.