Featured Post

Adoption and Child Separation at the Border

On June 1, 2018 Rebekah Henson published an important thread on Twitter critiquing the hashtags #FamiliesBelongTogether and #Ke...

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Customer's Complaint on Placed Order 1 Object Mum

If I only got to wish one thing from my mum, this is what I'd wish for-instead of searching for confirmation and attention to please her own fragile ego I'd wish she'd use at least some of that time on me. At least trying to convince me that I haven't failed her as a daughter and that she doesn't require me to be a picture perfect daughter. But I know she may never be able to take that responsibility. She's still so very insecure in herself, and very sensitive. The first word I'd use to describe her would be perfectionist. Don't get me wrong I do love my mum a lot and during certain circumstances I believe she did the best she could.


Part of why I'd say that the adoptive parents as well as the birth parents both needs to be better educated when it comes to (transracial) adoption is based on my own experiences. That's also why I'd say that not every couple would make good parents and why not everyone that seeks to parent from adoption should. Some people may just not be fully aware of exactly what it means--what is expected of them and what the adoptee should request.

Any person just isn't suitable to parent (which could be due to many different circumstances) I do also know that there are other adult adoptees that have had it far worse than I have. Personally speaking, I'm trying to say that I'd wish for another mum or a new mum. I do love my mum, I just wish future prospective parents would receive better education so they may be fully prepared for what may come and what to expect along the line. Some prospective adoptive parents may not be suitable and should not be allowed to parent through adoption without a proper social support from friends, family and health care.

I have never shared this part about my life with anyone---this is the first time. My mum begun to mention suicide and death when I was in my early teens. Up until that point in my life she never had before, I reacted to this by slowly distancing myself from her instead seeking support from my dad. I never mentioned this to my parents before, I don't think I realized exactly how much it may have impacted my life and influenced me... I hate to admit it but I may be more alike my mum than I would like to admit perhaps even just like her. Children learn what parents do ---they don't do as adults tell them to do instead they do what they do.