Friday, December 30, 2016

It's been a while

This past year was interesting.  It started out rough for me.  I was dealing with some personal family stuff and it was just a lot to handle.  Slowly as the year progressed, we were able to work through so much of it and move forward a stronger family unit than ever.  Which was a great thing!

March was a rough month in particular because days after the anniversary of my mother's death, I lost my mentor.  Losing her at that time was devistating, especially because we didn't see it coming.  She was a third grandmother to me and I couldn't have survived the last five years without her love and support.  It took me a long time to recover from that loss, and there are still days when the grief washes over me like a rouge wave.  That's the thing about grief; it manages to catch you unaware months and years after the initial loss.  It never truly goes away.

Fast forward to April, when we took an amazing vacation.  The highlight of the spring as far as I'm concerned.  It was great to reset and prepare for the rest of the year, and a great way to reconnect with my amazing husband.

And then we got to June.  Oh June, you amazing month.  Right before Father's Day I got to tell my amazing husband that next Father's Day is going to be a little more special for him.  And pretty much right after that morning sickness yuckiness hit with a vengeance.  Worst.  Summer.  Ever.  Most of my summer was spent on the couch trying not to throw up with the AC blasting and an ice pack on my head.  Plans were canceled, we left weddings early, and I had to give concert tickets away.  It was a fun time.

But then we managed to make it through until the fall.  And now here we are post holidays (finally) getting ready to meet our little one in the next few months, whenever she decides to make her grand entrance.  And man oh man the adoption issues are in their glory right now.  Full on adoptee panic attacks are not fun.  Luckily my amazing husband has been around long enough to get that he's going to have to make some adjustments to make me happy and not freaking out.  It's fun.

So that's been my year for the most part.  At this point I'm trucking along, hoping for all the good things to come, and working my way through lots of scary things that the hormones like to exaggerate.  A good therapist really helps...  To Be Continued.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Ready for 2017

2016 was a rough year for a lot of us at Lost Daughters, for a variety of reasons.  We're still working through figuring out how we're going to move forward, but I know most of our writers and editors haven't been around as much.

Sometimes, people need to regroup and recharge.  That's my plan anyway for 2017.  This new year is going to bring a lot of changes to me personally and I can't wait to move past 2016 on to a brighter future focusing on all the good things that are to come.

I wish peace, love, and acceptance to those who need it, and strength to all of us.  Hold on, just a few more days and we'll get a new beginning.

Monday, December 26, 2016

Fragments and Forgotten Memories

My Soul
Come To Life
When I Hear
Something in Korean
My Heart and Soul
Starts Singing
I Feel Happy yet Sad
The Smells
From Korea
Feels Like Home
To Me


My Soul
For Me
Come Back
I Once Was
Born But
Forced to Forget
About Myself

My Heart and Soul
Has Not Forgotten
This Is Why
I Must Return
My Happiness
Could Be
In Korea
Have To Find
That Missing


Before I Was Born
Even Created
There Was A Woman
I Was Supposed
To Have Called
Just As
There Once
Was A
Proud Man
That I Never
Got Know
As My Father

Older Sisters
Voices And Laughter
I Never Got
To Hear
An Entire Life
I Was Erased From

Memories Soon
Turned In To
Suddenly Forgotten
A Blank Space
In It's Place