Monday, June 20, 2011

Barely Breathing

Amanda asked to hear more so here goes…

The night that we first started emailing was very odd.  I hadn’t told anyone yet about this mysterious woman…this woman who I now believed was my natural mother.  It was like I needed to have her to myself for a little while…plus, if I said the words, “She found me”, it would make it that much more real.  And I was hanging on to a thin thread of sanity at that point.

The next day I raced over to my best friend’s house with my laptop in hand.  She was the first person I told.   She cried after she read the first few emails, looked up at me, and cried even harder.    As we were sitting there, another email popped up.  The subject line said, “Pictures!”.

I opened up the email…breathless.  In the body of the email, my mother wrote that the picture was of my sister.  I clicked on the file and for a minute, I was completely confused.  How the hell did she get a photo of me?



Except It wasn’t me.  It was my flesh and blood sister.  I turned the computer towards my friend.  She gasped…then said, “Wait…is that a picture of you??  Where’s the one of your sister?”. was THAT creepy.

For the first time in my life, I could see my eyes in the eyes of another. 

And then, another email.  “Me” was all it said.

Another breathless moment…it was her.  In all her tattooed, nose ringed glory..and she was beautiful.