Monday, July 11, 2011


The next few days after my natural mom and I (re)connected were spent emailing each other.  Typically our messages were of the Question and Answer variety.  Favorite color?  Flower?  Weirdest childhood injury/illness?  It was amazing to find out that she's just as clumsy as I am.   We spent time going over the basics of the family.  I found out that my grandmother had passed away years earlier, my grandfather was remarried and I had two uncles and two aunts and several cousins. 
All of them knew about me...and now knew that she'd found me.  Slowly I was friended on Myspace by an aunt, her partner and one of my uncles.  Gently we'd email, mostly just saying how crazy this whole situation was.

My other uncle was being cared for by hospice.  His life was ending...cancer was killing him.  One day, as I chatted online with my mom she said, "Just got the call...Jim's run out of time.  I love you and will be thinking of you.  I'll write when I can."  And with that, she was gone.  I heard from her the next day.  He'd passed away that night.  Surrounded by his family.  Minus one.  That hit me really hard.  I couldn't go to the just didn't seem right that the first time I'd meet the rest of the family would be at such a personal occasion.  But I grieved just the same.  Grieved that I was found...but still lost. 

The next week was quiet.  I knew that Chris would be busy hosting family at her house and I stayed silent.  Sent one or two short messages..."Thinking of you all" and "Hope you're doing okay"...but nothing more.  What more was there to say?  When the celebration of Jim's life had passed and she was able, we began writing again.  Back to the quizzes...back to talking about the past and the present and the future.