Friday, September 16, 2011
Did Grandma Care About Me?
Grandparents' Day just went by this past week; it reminded me of this story and made me wonder about my original grandparents. I didn't get to see any of my grandparents a whole lot growing up. I had three sets, my mom's parents and my dad's divorced and re-married parents, spread across the U.S. For Grandparent's day at school, an older adult from church always came as my "Honorary Grandparent" so that I wouldn't feel left out. I appreciated this but was always very jealous of my peers. Grandmas and Grandpops, Mimoms and Poppies, Mommoms and Grampies, whom my peers were often younger, spitting images of, came in and took my friends home early from school. They would go to do something fun. Maybe mini-golf and ice cream. Sometimes I heard they would go to McDonalds. I stayed at school until the end and waited for the bus with my friend Leanne. Her grandparents lived far away and she had an "Honorary Grandparent" from our church too.
I did not have any original grandparents waiting for me going into reunion because they had all passed away by the time I found my family. I sometimes wonder if they would have been waiting for me. I'd like to ask my original mom and my paternal aunt how they felt about the grandchild they never knew. Did they think of me? Did they talk about me? Did they remember my birthday? Would they have wanted to know me?
.........Did they miss me?
I would be happy if they did care about me. I suppose if I were to hear that if they didn't care, I might regret asking. I can't predict what the answer will be; perhaps I should wait until I am ready to hear the answer, whatever it is, before I ask.
Posted by The Declassified Adoptee
Amanda Woolston, MSS, LCSW, CT is an adoption and child welfare focused scholar, author, therapist, activist, and leader. For over a decade, her work has reached millions globally through media, public policy, and writing projects.