Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Questions from a birthmother

the first pair I made
Osiyo& Hello: I wanted to share a link to my recent blog post Seed Beads and Porcupine Quills here. It concerns a friend's question: “If you love someone you want to know everything about them… Why don’t adoptive parents want to know everything about their child?” 

I also wanted to share this question with Lost Daughters and readers. What would you answer?

Linda wrote: "I wanted to keep my baby. Is it right that I was manipulated and coerced and lied to because I was single? It was 1971. The church I attended at the time and have since left still tells single girls and women that the RIGHT thing to do is surrender their baby. If I had had some support until I could get on my feet, or had a mentor who would have helped me, that would have been good. Instead it is 40 years later and I still have an unnecessary hole in my life. And I know from listening to adoptees that they suffered even in good homes. Losing a baby to adoption is something a woman never recovers from. And adoptees deal with issues their whole life.
Why was a couple's desire for a baby more important than my desire to raise my own baby?
Is it right that a mother can sign a relinquishment form 24 hours after giving birth? (in the state of Washington, 1971) In my case, it was more like 36 hours because of the time of birth.
Is it right that if there is time to revoke the relinquishment, the mother is not told this?
Is it right that an agency will NOT give a copy of the forms to a person who signed it.  And then later still refuse to give the woman who signed it a copy? Also is it right that they refuse to let the mother see the records about her own child?"
I will share with my friend as you post your replies...