Friday, February 14, 2014

Dreams Sweet Dreams

I hear the calling
Much more often now,
It's almost impossible
 To sleep these days.
 I can no longer
Ignore the silent urge.
My soul is restless
 It prevents me
From slowing down -
Catching a breath.

Everyone seems
To expect and wait
For me
To settle down
Grow up
Take responsibility.
But I can't do it,
I refuse to do it,
My soul will never
Allow me
To get happy here.
I know that now
When I was born
My heart was left behind,
I have walked this earth
For almost 30 years
Without a heart.
It feels like it at least,
Now I have to go out looking
For my heart or else
I will never be happy.
I don't want to live
In the shadows
Where my dreams
Only be dreams.
No, it's time for me
To live my dream.
How am I suppose
To give my heart away
When my heart
Is no longer with me
Never has been ?
That wouldn't be fair,
To give out false hope,
Making promises
I cannot keep,
Doing anything of that
Would mean
I would have to
Sacrifice my dream.
A shot at happiness
Not love.
The reason I cannot
Find love might be
That I've
Been searching
In the wrong place
From the start -
Because my heart
Is not with me.
The moment
I was born
My heart was left
Behind me.

To live my dream
I will have to
Sacrifice a lot,
Locking my heart away -
That's no longer needed.
My heart
Cannot be broken
Since my heart
Was left behind me.
What's possible still
Is me breaking
Someone's heart...
Some say
That I wouldn't
Have to sacrifice
My love
Just to
Live my dream.
But what if
I end up
Finding real love
On the quest
For my dream ?
I'll have to be
Honest from now on,
I'm not interested
In finding love
Not if it means
I'll end up
In a place
I can't stand,
I refuse to
Compromise with this
I deserve
A chance
To live
My dream life.

 A potential boyfriend?
 Out of the question,
Not even 
If he were a real Prince.
What about marriage
A wedding in a church ?
I refuse to marry
For anything but love,
Thanks but no thanks.
What about
A baby or two,
Don't tell me
That you don't
Want to
Have children.
A baby can be 
A blessing
As well
As a curse,
I'd rather
 Have my own
Rather than
To raise 
somebody else's
I like the idea 
Of having 
A couple 
Of mini versions 
Of me - some day.