Monday, April 4, 2016

Rooted to Resiliency: On Creating a Safe Holding Space…for Your Life Goals & Aims


Hello, Sisters!

Greetings from Europe. Just wanted to wish everyone a happy spring.


Recently I have been thinking about your ROOTED TO RESILIENCY column.


This week alone I had two random meetings with fellow global citizens (who happened to have been adopted). One person I met (age 40) who was adopted domestically from the UK discussed the "floating feeling." Susan Branco Alvarado, a long-time friend (see her website), and I have often discussed the "floating feeling" that adopted, fostered and orphaned people can experience. It's a feeling of lacking roots, the kind that will firmly hold us into the ground and prevent us from floating away into the universe. It may sound strange, but it can be a very real emotional & psychological feeling that can be terrifying at times.


After discussions with Amanda, founder of this wonderful blog, I realised that when I am experiencing the floating feeling (lack of genetic stories, knowledge, kin and history to root myself in the collective context of our human story), I must ROOT TO RESILIENCY.


But how does one root to resiliency? (I can hear some of you wondering this…)


STEPS FOR SELF-ROOTING TO RESILIENCY:

1. If you don't already have one, create a safe 'holding space' for yourself. A holding space could be a good friend(s), family member, organisation, context. 

In my experience, holding spaces have come and gone. But think about what works for you…and think about this: how could you create new safe spaces for yourself, even if other ones (e.g., birth family, etc.) may have disappeared (permanently or temporarily)?



2. What would you like to accomplish whilst being held in this safe holding space?

Often people (non-adopted, included) will tell me that it feels hard for them to move forward in their lives because they seem to be trekking through so much emotional turmoil in their family space(s) and lives. My (deceased adoptive) mother, Janet, often felt like she couldn't finish her projects because there was so much stress between herself and her (biological) mother! 



3. Please consider: If you had a safe, reliable holding space, what might change in your life? What might you accomplish?


Off to catch a train, but looking forward to hearing your thoughts! More to come…


Much Love,
Jennifer


Native Province: Taipei and Jiangsu (mainland China) Hometown: Laguna Beach (OC), California Arrived in the USA: Dec 1979 / Jan 1980 Education: NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts & Harvard Generation: G2, “A Global Generation” Proud Big Sister of: Chris (from Seoul, South Korea) Why This Blog: “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” Helen Keller

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