Tuesday, November 27, 2012

NaBloPoMo Day 27 : Diversity - or a sacrifice due too diversity

By Jaesun 

Before you start complaining that I didn't write about what the supposed title says please hold your horses. I'm not an American adoptee yet I'm an adoptee and I'm extremely grateful that the creator of this blog has graciously invited me to write here as I have been doing for 5 months or so now. I am a European adoptee as well as Korean adoptee. 

No, it's not only the US who adopts children Europe is doing pretty well trying to keep up altough some European countries like mine only supports and promotes international and/or intercial adoptions. If that is not a proof of diveristy I'm not sure what is.

Recently, not that long ago I finally recieved a letter or rather short reply on my long and honest letter. The decision reached was one of mutual agreement; we all felt it would be better to bide farewell. They are still my birth siblings but we're as different as night and day. And to be honest since i wasn't able to get that deep feeling of connection I suppose it was expected. While I longed to know my siblings to them I was a stranger yet my birth parents seemed more interested in me, but not much.

I used to prood of the fact my birth family is fairly diverse considering that they're Koreans and that one of my siblings married a western man and thus have biracial children. Now I know why they seem to accept such a different person into their family. It has to do with basic survival and pride.

A reunion does not always end the way you imagined, hoped or thought. Of course I tried to convince myself that I was ready and aware of what this process would bring me... yet it now seems, I have to admit that I might have been a bit delusional.

This process has learned me that a relationship or friendship cannot survive on purely love no matter how deep. There has to be a mutual agreement and understanding but acceptance and respect is just as crucial. And you'll need a lot of patience , especially if you like me have to consider cultural differences with customs, religions and languages. And prepare yourself for a lot of bumps on the road... in the form of minor, huge or trivial misunderstandings with potential of growing larger...

If you had the oppertunity to visit the country of your birth the same country where your birth family lived would you feel inclined to let them know of your whereabouts or not ? When I say adoption and then diversity what's the first thought that pop up in your mind?

One thing I learned out of all of this is that if I hadn't insisted on going to visit my birth family when I did. But waited a few years, perhaps until I had my own family by then I might have been more mature and prepared. But if I had done that I probably wouldn't have been able to meet my birth parents when they still were alive...

All I can do now at this point is appreciate what I tried to do and the only news I can expect to hear from my birth family is news about my family member's death... This person is terminally ill fighting a potentially deadly disease...

All good things must come to an end...
And everyhing is due because of this diverse world we live in now but I blame nobody.