Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Still Lost - Equations

“Here's what I think: it's one thing to know that rejection is coming, and it's an entirely different thing when it arrives.” ~Autumn Doughton

I have heard that there are people who wish for more adoptee poetry.  I am not sure it's my poetry, but I will risk being rejected again. :)  The poem below is how I feel about being rejected, after multiple adoption court petitions for identifying information and contact with my biological family, by both of my biological parents.

Trying to be part of something you aren't and probably never will be within either family as an adoptee, especially during the holiday season, is exhausting.   We can play the "part", put on the "face", and pretend.  We've been "playing" it all of our lives.

We are all entering this Holiday season with pain, anguish, anxiety, and stress that other people can't fathom.  They can't get it.  That's why I am thankful this season to be a part of this group, of these sisters, of these amazing accepting women, I can call my own.

Equations

One plus one they say makes two but I'm not sure that this is true.
In this case one and one makes three explaining how I came to be.
Then three came in between the sum, divides them back to one and one.
These equations seems to break all the laws of give and take.
But life not always plays by rules, nor the facts we learned in school.
I know this all so very well, I only hope to "show and tell".
When one and one took separate paths that no one needs to do the math.
To see this story problem's mine.
I'm the remainder left behind.

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