Can I tell you a secret?
Sometimes I despair....why is it so hard to feel safe enough to be authentic?
Growing up I wasn't allowed to feel sad. I was told I should not cry...that crying would just make my (adoptive) family feel bad...so "stop crying, and stop being so selfish."
Most of all, I wasn't supposed to talk about my birthfamily. I was especially never supposed to mention that infamous 'L' word: loss.
But what if I loved my (adoptive) family, whilst also missing my birthfamily, too? When everyone else in our society can reasonably expect to have a community gathering (e.g., funeral/memorial) to recognise the loss of a family member...why was I supposed to mourn my losses entirely alone?
It's scary to be a child who must not mourn. When everyone tells you that your job is to be happy -- to keep the people around you happy -- what else can you do but smile, and ACT HAPPY (whilst crying secret tears inside)?
Sisters, please join me in a quiet moment, acknowledging our losses and beaming love to all the children in the world who...right now...may also be walking bravely amongst us, smiling through secret tears. (to be continued...)
Native Province: Taipei & Jiangsu (mainland China) Hometown: Laguna Beach (OC), California Arrived in the USA: Dec 1979 / Jan 1980 Education: NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts & Harvard Generation: G2, “A Global Generation” Proud Big Sister of: Chris (from Seoul, South Korea) Why This Blog: “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” —Helen Keller
Native Province: Taipei & Jiangsu (mainland China) Hometown: Laguna Beach (OC), California Arrived in the USA: Dec 1979 / Jan 1980 Education: NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts & Harvard Generation: G2, “A Global Generation” Proud Big Sister of: Chris (from Seoul, South Korea) Why This Blog: “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” —Helen Keller
