Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Questions with Lost Answers

When I decided to begin my birth family search all those years ago it was my interest, need and curiosity to know my biological roots that spurred me. I wanted a chance to meet my mother and father and I also wanted to know my exact time of birth. I do not have any details of my birth all I know is that I was born in a certain Red Cross hospital somewhere in Korea, I was transfered to an orphanage and hospital in Seoul very soon after my birth. That is why I used to believe that I really was born in Seoul when I actually was born in a much smaller region. That I know now.


My younger brother, the oldest of the two and the brother whom I am not related to but connected to legally, his circumstances are not anything like mine. He knows when he was born, whereas I most likely never will, I will have to accept I probably never will know my exact time of birth. I have an estimated birthday, but there is nothing written about my mother's pregnancy other than that it was a normal pregnancy.

Which I now know and suspect may be a reconstructed truth. The truth is my birth mother was in very poor health I suspect she might have contructed pre-eclampsia which could result in the infant being born with jaundice like I was. I was also malnourished--- while my brother was not, neither of my brother were.

I have all this information, faces and memories yet since there were very unfortunate circumstances surrounding my birth the one person whom usually knows the answer, does not know a thing. Besides my birth there no memories apart from a few pictures and journals in my adoption file that bear witness of my first 100 days in life. Yes, the hospital staff might know if they remember but it seems to be unneccessary to try to locate someone in a hospital 30 years later. Millions of babies have been born, and babies are born every day. They could know something about my mother's birth-most likely though is that they do not remember.


Today, I know that it is quite common practice to fabricate the truth partially, completely or just slightly. By fabricating the truth, the chances of legal or paper orphans becoming adopted increases.

Now it makes me worried I love children I really do and I would really adore and spoil a child of my own. Yet I am afraid of what we pass on to our next generation there are still a lot of details that will be forever lost to me. Fortunately I do have a little information about my birth parents and siblings medical history.

Over time I have realized many Korean adoptees does have one fabricated document in English and a completely different in Korean. For instances the offical document could state the child as orphan while the real file could include names of birth parents.


Since the promotion of domestic adoption fewer Koreans are adopted internationally, while I was less than 100 days when I arrived in my new country of origin. These days it is a common practice not to say requirement that any Korean adoptee must be at least one but due to lenghty process these must babies are turned over to their new parents some time after their first birthday but before their second. It's remarkable that South Korea prides itself in being one of the world's best nation's in technology while it still continues to send children overseas for intercountry adoption. With the new developments of technology and DNA I know a lot KADs that decides to take a DNA test in the hopes of finding someone- a birth parent or sibling or most likely a distant relative. I support all adult adoptees that has to use DNA to find their birth families. Whenever I hear of someone, succesfully reuniting with their birth parents I get nostalgic and filled with a special feeling inside. While I think it's sad adoptees and KADs has to resort to DNA testing. As a reunited KAD, I don't think I should have to resort to a DNA test in efforts to help other KADs find their birth families. Some might say it's selfish-maybe it is, but unless you know me and my story you have no right to call me selfish. My oldest sister was born in 1968, the second youngest sister in 1985, my youngest sibling in 1988 or 1989. I was the only that were relinquished for adoption. Don't be fooled into believing that all my questions or my doubts has been answered since I found my birth family. That is very far from the truth, if anything I got the answer to one pivotal question - that produced a millions other...