Friday, September 15, 2017

My Secret

I am what I am
Can't change what already happened
Refuse to accept what I've been through
All I can do
Is to learn to live with it
It's far from easy though
The truth is that I suffer from survivor's guilt
But also the constant inferiority complex
Never being good enough
For either of my parents
Considered a second best and last resort
My birth family wants me to be grateful
But they don't understand
What's it like
To be the only one
Relinquished for adoption
Never able to get to know
Your birth parents
Share a memory with birth sisters
Or create a new one with your younger birth sibling
Not even able to call them on the phone
Or write a simple short letter
I am the reject
The black sheep
No matter where I am
Part of me does not want to be alive
I have survived
But I don't know how to fully live my life