Monday, October 15, 2012

Paradox (by Lynn Grubb)

While reading a book by one of my favorite authors, I was struck by what he said about paradox.  Paradox is:

 “a statement contrary to common belief, or one that seems contradictory, unbelievable or absurd but may actually be true in fact.” (M. Scott Peck). 

He goes on to say:

“If no pieces of reality are missing from the picture, if all the dimensions are integrated, you will probably be confronted by a paradox. When you get to the root of things, virtually all truth is paradoxical.  Thus, to seek the truth involves an integration of things that seem to be separate and look like opposites when, in reality, they are intertwined and related in some ways.  Many things in life appear simple on the surface, but are often complex; however not complicated.”  

“To understand paradox ultimately means to be able to grasp two contradictory concepts in one’s mind without going crazy.  It certainly is a skill of mental acrobatics to be able to juggle opposing ideas in one’s mind without automatically negating or rejecting the reality of either idea.”

 Adoption falls into this category of appearing simple on the surface (“Oh how wonderful! They adopted!”) to much more complex when you actually live it.  It inspired the following poem:

Adoption is 

a concept, a belief and an action
A lack of choice and being chosen
A legal solution to a spiritual problem
A spiritual solution to a legal problem
A loving choice and a thrusting upon
A nurturing touch yet a stealing away

it saved me; yet damaged me  
Provided for me, yet took away from me
Blessed me yet cursed me
Gave me a name and took a name
It creates a chance for love to grow and a door for misunderstanding
It creates a family out of strangers and strangers out of family
It inspires and teaches and it wounds and damages

Adoption is

My friend and my enemy
A thorn in my side and my shining light
A rainbow and a gravestone
Acceptance and rejection
Truth and lies
Known and unknown
Love and hatred
a casting away and returning

Adoption is

Not the excuse or the cause
Not perfect or evil
Not the reason or the scapegoat
Not who I am or who I am not
Everything and nothing

(copyright Lynn Grubb; may reproduce with permission)